Staying Connected

happy-marriage

Top ten suggestions on how to keep your marriage love alive or what I wish I knew on my wedding day:

  1. Do everything in your power to help facilitate the other person being what they were created to be and to do, without keeping score. This is a covenant; you bring all that’s you (good, bad and the in between) and give to your spouse. Totally giving yourself to the other. Yes, it takes time to build that kind of trust but it’s a process of truly becoming one that’s worth investing your life’s energy into. Think about what your marriage can be if both spouses give all they can to the other.
  2. Embrace and learn to celebrate the differences of each other instead of trying to form the other into your image…. which is not to say that we couldn’t use some training from our spouse on what’s good and appropriate for the other. Learn to love the other how they need to be loved not how you want to or how it is convenient for you to love.
  3. Focus on the good in the other person and the good aspects of your marriage instead what is not so good and what hasn’t happened yet. Balance your expectations for life and your spouse versus what happens through certain chapters of everyday life. The main reason relationships get sideways is expectations that one has in unrealistic time frames. We grow and change at different rates. Remember marriage is not a commitment for a couple of years but a lifetime.
  4. Don’t believe that the honeymoon will end. In fact, if done correctly the honeymoon is only the beginning and should continually increase in love, romance and trust.
  5. Confrontation is healthy, inevitable and necessary. How to do it with respect for most is a life long pursuit. Make the issues, the issue. As long as you both may live, don’t say words that tear the other one down. Don’t use phrases like “you always, you never.”  Never allow the word divorce to be spoken.
  6. Be nice to each other. Remember your spouse is not the enemy. Don’t take your frustrations out on each other.
  7. Be transparent. You now have a partner to help navigate the challenges of your life. Don’t keep temptations, weaknesses and especially sin in the dark. Be honest about your stuff and hopefully it’ll bring the same honesty forward in them.
  8. Life & marriage are what you make it; you have the opportunity and the power everyday to make it kind, warm and joyful.
  9. Make your parent’s ceiling your floor. It has always been God’s plan that each generation learn from their parent’s mistakes, but also to take their strengths to a higher level. Both set of parents want the richest blessings for their kid’s marriages: physically, financially, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
  10. And when you forget all the above, remember the 12 most important words in marriage:  I am sorry, I love you.  Please forgive me, I was wrong.

One of the most powerful acts you can participate in with your spouse is to tell them, “I choose you.  I love you very much.  My goal with you today is connection.”  When this is practiced with intentionality and sincerity, I promise you will huge results of intimacy that you long for.

Love should be at the genesis of every marriage and hopefully it will remain as the abiding force that keeps both husband and wife connected to each other.  When both the husband and wife take responsibility to do what is best in their marriage, love can and will grow.   I always like to challenge every married couple to read I Corinthians 13:4-7 daily and together if possible.  God’s word is our plumb line to keep everything in proper balance and alignment.  When we do marriage HIS way, we will always be successful.

***Bill and Lisa Roitsch are Marriage Mentors who love to coach and disciple marriages to stay together, grow together and stay connected to the pure source of all love and power – the Lord Jesus Christ.  Visit their website at:  http://www.powerofhislove.com

 

Owning IT!

womaan praying2

Taking your meditations of God’s word and allowing it to come ALIVE inside of you and then flow out of you, takes practice.

When you look at the stories throughout the bible and history of man and woman having deep encounters with the presence of God, it usually did not happen in a temple, synagogue or church. What you will see is man having a personal experience with the person and nature of God in a very ordinary, natural way. Take for instance Moses and his encounter with YHWH at the burning bush. (Exodus 3)

Moses’ encounter with the holiness of God is surely an external happenstance, but it is also an inner one. Immediately it changes Moses and drives him outward. This is what a deep inner experience should do for someone. One could call it a transcendent experience, but note that it is based outside in nature rather than inside of a synagogue or temple.

“Often it is in the open spaces of the ordinary world that the inner world is recognized and impacted.”

Immediately after Moses had his heart-stopping experience, YHWH said to him: “I have observed the misery of my people who are in Egypt. Now, go! Tell Pharaoh to let my people go” (Exodus 3:7, 10). Our Creator God has just given Moses an experience of an unnamable Presence, and it has an immediate impact on Moses, his family and his world. Rather than invite Moses to worship or attend a church service, God says, “Go make a difference, Moses!”

“The fire burned FOR him, then IN him, and finally THROUGH him.”

As Jesus was sending his disciples out into the community, He spoke, “And as you go, preach, saying, ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. Freely you received, freely give.”  (Matthew 10:5-8)

As believers we have freely received so much and now we are admonished to go give it away!

Unfortunately, too many Christians have released themselves from this instruction and we have all have suffered as a result.   In avoiding our most basic need to give back, many of us have lost whatever we might have gained in our personal and private devotions with the Lord.

What would it look like for every follower of Christ to freely give love, kindness, encouragement, prayer and gifts to anyone who has a need? What would happen to our communities if each of us took to heart Christ’s words? I believe the answer lies in the stories of every man and woman that is recorded for us in the Holy Scriptures who believed God and then acted on it.

I encourage you today my friends, to give Christ away to everyone or anyone you encounter who has a need. In sharing what you have experienced and learned, you really own the Gospel message beyond what you ever imagined. The Good News comes alive for you and others! It is something real and tangible that people can taste, feel and see!  It is in the “giving away” that you are able to be recharged!

“God’s love is like an electric circuit; it never flows in just one direction.”

Allow it to flow through you, out of you and around you to the world you encounter daily. I promise you will grow and flourish personally, but you also will be changing history for the better! Our world needs God’s powerful love, grace and mercy to be shown through His people. We are called to be His witnesses!

Sadly, we see that many people know of no other way. No one told them about the wonderful alternative, a third way…..a BETTER way!

“You are the light of the world–like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.” Matthew 5:14NLT

My prayer is that Christ’s followers will present the Gospel in a way that really changes people.

My Gateway to Love: Father, show me where to stand!

 

****This blog was inspired by the writings of R.Rohr – a mystic, a Franciscan friar, and a simple devotee of Christ