Staying Connected

happy-marriage

Top ten suggestions on how to keep your marriage love alive or what I wish I knew on my wedding day:

  1. Do everything in your power to help facilitate the other person being what they were created to be and to do, without keeping score. This is a covenant; you bring all that’s you (good, bad and the in between) and give to your spouse. Totally giving yourself to the other. Yes, it takes time to build that kind of trust but it’s a process of truly becoming one that’s worth investing your life’s energy into. Think about what your marriage can be if both spouses give all they can to the other.
  2. Embrace and learn to celebrate the differences of each other instead of trying to form the other into your image…. which is not to say that we couldn’t use some training from our spouse on what’s good and appropriate for the other. Learn to love the other how they need to be loved not how you want to or how it is convenient for you to love.
  3. Focus on the good in the other person and the good aspects of your marriage instead what is not so good and what hasn’t happened yet. Balance your expectations for life and your spouse versus what happens through certain chapters of everyday life. The main reason relationships get sideways is expectations that one has in unrealistic time frames. We grow and change at different rates. Remember marriage is not a commitment for a couple of years but a lifetime.
  4. Don’t believe that the honeymoon will end. In fact, if done correctly the honeymoon is only the beginning and should continually increase in love, romance and trust.
  5. Confrontation is healthy, inevitable and necessary. How to do it with respect for most is a life long pursuit. Make the issues, the issue. As long as you both may live, don’t say words that tear the other one down. Don’t use phrases like “you always, you never.”  Never allow the word divorce to be spoken.
  6. Be nice to each other. Remember your spouse is not the enemy. Don’t take your frustrations out on each other.
  7. Be transparent. You now have a partner to help navigate the challenges of your life. Don’t keep temptations, weaknesses and especially sin in the dark. Be honest about your stuff and hopefully it’ll bring the same honesty forward in them.
  8. Life & marriage are what you make it; you have the opportunity and the power everyday to make it kind, warm and joyful.
  9. Make your parent’s ceiling your floor. It has always been God’s plan that each generation learn from their parent’s mistakes, but also to take their strengths to a higher level. Both set of parents want the richest blessings for their kid’s marriages: physically, financially, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
  10. And when you forget all the above, remember the 12 most important words in marriage:  I am sorry, I love you.  Please forgive me, I was wrong.

One of the most powerful acts you can participate in with your spouse is to tell them, “I choose you.  I love you very much.  My goal with you today is connection.”  When this is practiced with intentionality and sincerity, I promise you will huge results of intimacy that you long for.

Love should be at the genesis of every marriage and hopefully it will remain as the abiding force that keeps both husband and wife connected to each other.  When both the husband and wife take responsibility to do what is best in their marriage, love can and will grow.   I always like to challenge every married couple to read I Corinthians 13:4-7 daily and together if possible.  God’s word is our plumb line to keep everything in proper balance and alignment.  When we do marriage HIS way, we will always be successful.

***Bill and Lisa Roitsch are Marriage Mentors who love to coach and disciple marriages to stay together, grow together and stay connected to the pure source of all love and power – the Lord Jesus Christ.  Visit their website at:  http://www.powerofhislove.com

 

Owning IT!

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Taking your meditations of God’s word and allowing it to come ALIVE inside of you and then flow out of you, takes practice.

When you look at the stories throughout the bible and history of man and woman having deep encounters with the presence of God, it usually did not happen in a temple, synagogue or church. What you will see is man having a personal experience with the person and nature of God in a very ordinary, natural way. Take for instance Moses and his encounter with YHWH at the burning bush. (Exodus 3)

Moses’ encounter with the holiness of God is surely an external happenstance, but it is also an inner one. Immediately it changes Moses and drives him outward. This is what a deep inner experience should do for someone. One could call it a transcendent experience, but note that it is based outside in nature rather than inside of a synagogue or temple.

“Often it is in the open spaces of the ordinary world that the inner world is recognized and impacted.”

Immediately after Moses had his heart-stopping experience, YHWH said to him: “I have observed the misery of my people who are in Egypt. Now, go! Tell Pharaoh to let my people go” (Exodus 3:7, 10). Our Creator God has just given Moses an experience of an unnamable Presence, and it has an immediate impact on Moses, his family and his world. Rather than invite Moses to worship or attend a church service, God says, “Go make a difference, Moses!”

“The fire burned FOR him, then IN him, and finally THROUGH him.”

As Jesus was sending his disciples out into the community, He spoke, “And as you go, preach, saying, ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. Freely you received, freely give.”  (Matthew 10:5-8)

As believers we have freely received so much and now we are admonished to go give it away!

Unfortunately, too many Christians have released themselves from this instruction and we have all have suffered as a result.   In avoiding our most basic need to give back, many of us have lost whatever we might have gained in our personal and private devotions with the Lord.

What would it look like for every follower of Christ to freely give love, kindness, encouragement, prayer and gifts to anyone who has a need? What would happen to our communities if each of us took to heart Christ’s words? I believe the answer lies in the stories of every man and woman that is recorded for us in the Holy Scriptures who believed God and then acted on it.

I encourage you today my friends, to give Christ away to everyone or anyone you encounter who has a need. In sharing what you have experienced and learned, you really own the Gospel message beyond what you ever imagined. The Good News comes alive for you and others! It is something real and tangible that people can taste, feel and see!  It is in the “giving away” that you are able to be recharged!

“God’s love is like an electric circuit; it never flows in just one direction.”

Allow it to flow through you, out of you and around you to the world you encounter daily. I promise you will grow and flourish personally, but you also will be changing history for the better! Our world needs God’s powerful love, grace and mercy to be shown through His people. We are called to be His witnesses!

Sadly, we see that many people know of no other way. No one told them about the wonderful alternative, a third way…..a BETTER way!

“You are the light of the world–like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.” Matthew 5:14NLT

My prayer is that Christ’s followers will present the Gospel in a way that really changes people.

My Gateway to Love: Father, show me where to stand!

 

****This blog was inspired by the writings of R.Rohr – a mystic, a Franciscan friar, and a simple devotee of Christ

 

Getting Drunk On God

Water

“Don’t get drunk on wine, which leads to wild living. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.”  Ephesians 5:18GWT

Paul teaches that the effects of being filled with God’s spirit is joy! And then gratitude comes as a by-product. Which obviously eliminates grumbling, pouting and self-pity and bitterness, scowling and murmuring, depression and worry and discouragement.

So, how do we get filled? Start with getting drunk on God! Paul warn us to NOT get drunk on wine, but rather be filled with God’s spirit. To get drunk on wine or any alcohol, you must drink lots of it. In order to get drunk on Holy Spirit, we need to drink and drink and drink more of Him…..daily! I Cor. Says “We were all…..made to drink of one Spirit.”

Jesus said, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’”

We drink God’s spirit by setting our minds on the things of the Spirit….”seek the things above!” Philippians 3:19. Our focus should strive to stay on heavenly things as much as possible. Our perspective needs to align up with God’s so we can see what He sees! When we are too focused on the things of this earth, we lose sight of God and His great purposes.

The Holy Spirit is not like wine because He is a person and is free to come and go where He wills (John 3:8).

Jesus said to his disciples, “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” If we want to be filled with the Spirit, we must pray for it.

In Ephesians 3:19. Paul asks his Father in heaven (v. 14) that all the believers might be “filled with all the fullness of God.”

So my friends, today and always, we need to drink and pray. Drink and pray. DRINK AND PRAY! Get filled so you can go out and pour onto others, His grace, love and power. There is a dying world out there that needs Jesus! You may be the only bible someone sees today. You may be the one person that God wants to use today to make a difference in someone’s life for good!

#bebrave

http://www.powerofhislove.com

 

 

 

Desiring God

I have been starving my entire life and did not realize it.  Only in the last couple of years have I realized that my hunger could only be satiated by the bountiful banquet table that God has prepared for me.  It has been here all along, only I was blinded to it.

I have felt like a leper of old and believed I had nothing to lose so I ventured out into the enemies camp and partook of the treasures I saw.  Only it brought me to deaths door.

Creator God has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also put eternity into the heart of man.  Ecclesiastes 3:11

Since eternity resides within the heart of all mankind, he no longer has to long – for he is already filled.  Only he has yet to experience it.  I now know this reality.  My longing has been filled.  Full to overflow with the beauty of time and eternity – the Creator  Himself.  He is breathtaking and I want to double my joy in all of Gods grace so I can share it with others.

God asks us to delight ourselves in Him (Psalm 37:4). He want us to rejoice in Him again and again (Phil. 4:4). When we allow all of our emptiness to be filled with His goodness and nature then we experience true joy!

When our back is to the breathtaking beauty of God, we cast a shadow on the earth and fall in love with it.  But it does not satisfy.  ~    John Piper

Jesus, our gracious Lord, puts it this way.  If you try and save your life you will end up losing it altogether.  But when you enter into self-denial, and lose your life, you will find HIS life!  Mark 8:35. His life is one of abundance and overflow.  

My prayer for you is that you will really pursue joy!  Don’t settle for anything less….for joy is not the absence of pain but the presence of Christ.

I am radically committed to the pursuit of full and lasting joy!  And I am only satisfied and content when my heart and life is bundled up in His entirety!

L. Roitsch

6/2017

http://www.powerofhislove.com

The Ironies of the Cross

Streams in the desert

Our God works in mysterious ways. He reminds us of this in the book of Isaiah, that His ways are not our ways, nor are His thoughts our thoughts.  The bible is a book stacked with irony and full of mystery.  The first irony I want to look at today is of the cross.

It is where we see evil intention being transformed into divine salvation.

God interrupted the evil schemes of man and Satan when He resurrected Christ from the dead. For we read in the book of Acts that death could not hold Him.  God, in His divine justice, overruled all wicked intentions and used their very acts of disobedience to bring life and salvation to the entire world, for anyone who would receive.

The second irony we see is that resurrection comes THROUGH crucifixion. The cross represents death, pain and suffering.  It is out of this death that LIFE appears.  To personalize this truth, we realize that our own death to self must occur so that we can encounter HIS glorious life and vanquish all evil in our being.  Jesus so eloquently tells us in the book of John, “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will produce many new kernels–a plentiful harvest of new lives. Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity.  Anyone who wants to be my disciple must follow me, because my servants must be where I am. And the Father will honor anyone who serves me.” John 12:24-26 NLT

Inside of Jesus’ words is the startling truth that if we desire to save our life we will lose it. However, when we choose to lose our life for His sake, we are then able to find true life- This is good news!

It is on the cross that Jesus once and for all defeated Satan. Paul reminds us in Colossians that we have been made alive with Christ, the anointed One, because He disarmed the powers and authorities and triumphed over them all by the cross.  Col. 2:13-15

Again, we see that out of death, our enemy has been defeated and we can now enter into the abundant life that Jesus calls us to.

My friend, are you truly living today? Are you focusing on the goodness of God despite your current situations?  If not, I want to encourage you to enter into the fullness of God’s goodness.  God will sometimes confront us with deep pain and suffering because He desires to reveal His goodness to us.    We experience the goodness of God only through the revelation of His glory, which is His unique nature and essence.   God displays Himself as supremely good in the midst of the most intense evil and suffering experienced on this earth – the cross of Calvary.

I have a quote hanging in my office that reads, “If I don’t see the cross and what Jesus did for me, then I can NEVER be truly free.”

God has overturned all human pain because He experienced it for us. He displayed His goodness by suffering on our behalf.

And so I leave you with this…..Make pain your friend! Cause any and all pain in your life to catapult you into the arms of a loving Father who created you and has a divine purpose for you here on this earth and for all eternity.  Memorize Jeremiah 29:11 and meditate on its truths and goodness.  Allow pain to bring you to a place of complete dependence on the One who formed you in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139)

Whatever you do, don’t try and escape from your pain, but be with it. Because the attempt to escape from pain only creates more pain.” – Asian Proverb

It is through our pain and suffering that we experience lasting joy and encounter His beautiful glory.  Romans 8:17

http://www.powerofhislove.com

L. Roitsch 5/2017

Mercy and Love

River

One day, a simple man of God, named Moses, made a humble request of his God. Picture this with me……Moses wants to know, encounter and experience God, so he asks Him to reveal Himself.  Moses is desiring to understand and connect with his God.  In the book of Exodus we see this amazing transaction.

As the Creator God, Elohim, passes in front of Moses, He makes a powerful declaration of who He is. The great I AM speaks…..”I am merciful, I am gracious, I am long-suffering and I am full of goodness and truth. I am merciful and keep mercy….and I forgive all iniquity, transgression and sin.”

I have paraphrased Exodus 34:6-7.

God has just shown Moses, and us, five beautifully tender aspects of Himself. God is merciful, compassionate/gracious, steadfast in love, tenaciously faithful, and forgiving. Through these, God wants us to experience and know Him. All through time, God has revealed Himself this way and the people of Israel, against all odds, did indeed experience Him thus way.  And today, this is how you and I can enter in and have an encounter with the great I AM.  Through this revelation and encounter with God, He grows us from the inside out.  This is the unthinkable concept of grace!

Over and over, God describes Himself as having steadfast love for His people. Despite their unfaithfulness and failings, He reminds them of His unconditional love or covenant love extended to them.  God always deals with His people, His creation, through the revelation of His name and nature.

You see my friend….God doesn’t just have love, HE IS love! God is His own reference point – I love that!

God’s faithfulness has never been dependent on our worthiness or readiness. He is faithful to His name and nature first and foremost. Since you and I can never keep our own right standing with God (righteousness), we constantly enter into and proclaim that HE is our righteousness, through the shed blood of Christ. He is our expression of love and faithfulness. His mercy is ours and we partake of His merciful nature. Remember, in Exodus that was the first attribute He declared to Moses – His mercy.

When you and I cry out for God’s mercy, it will always get answered because God cannot deny or ignore His very nature or essence.

In Ezekiel, God is speaking through the prophet and telling Israel He has had enough of their unfaithfulness and idolatry. In reading the entire text, you can see that He is fed-up with His people and reminds them of His anger towards them and their despicable behavior. The great I AM is in the processing of scattering them among all other people groups and nations as result of their rebellion.  However, in the next instance we see God relenting, and having a very merciful moment. God makes a very tender statement – “I am not doing this for your sake, house of Israel, but for the sake of my holy name” (Ezekiel 36:22).  

This, my friend, is restoration and divine justice. This is how a merciful God responds to His children.

Divine Love is not determined by the worthiness of its object, but by the total generosity towards its subject.

This is good news – by His grace I am saved!

“Long ago the LORD said to Israel: “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.” Jeremiah 31:3

http://www.powerofhislove.com

Bill & Lisa Roitsch – ministers of transformation

The Small Things Matter

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Most couples we mentor and counsel, fail to recognize that sometimes even the smallest, and seemingly insignificant things can make a HUGE difference in building a healthy, happy marriage.

Hopefully, every marriage wants their goal to be intimacy.  Staying connected to your spouse can be challenging, but powerful when it is done with focus and intentionality.

Here are a list of powerful, yet small activities, you can engage in to keep your passion burning and the love flowing:

  • Tell your spouse “Thank you” more often.
  • Greet them at the door when they arrive home from a long day – show excitement that they are home!
  • Leave them a hand written love note somewhere they don’t expect it.
  • Every day tell your spouse one thing you appreciate about them.
  • Send a passionate, steamy text message telling your spouse you can’t wait to see them again.
  • Make a list of why you fell in love with your spouse and keep it handy on those days when you need extra encouragement.
  • Say “I am sorry” and take full responsibility if something you said or did hurt your spouse. Owning our mistakes go a long way in building intimacy and trust.
  • Ask your spouse to tell you one thing about themselves that you don’t know yet.
  • Hug your spouse MORE! Physical touch releases oxytocin which helps lower stress levels.

This list is not exhaustive, but rather intended to help you get your creative juices flowing. As you add some of these small gestures to your marriage daily, I promise it will produce tons of benefits.

One thing I learned early in our journey of recovering from sexual addiction and infidelity was to look my spouse in the eye and passionately state, “My goal with you today is connection. I want to do whatever it takes to build trust, intimacy and passion into our marriage.”  As I faithfully voiced my intentions, it gave my spouse room to relax, enjoy the everyday moments of life and went a long, long way in restoring true passion and closeness back into our relationship.

A good marriage doesn’t just happen. It requires work, patience and lots of intentional moments, where your goal is to stay connected with one another no matter the cost.  Love is a choice….every day!

Our prayer is that you choose to love your spouse more, LIVE every day with focus and intention and experience God’s abundant peace and joy in your marriage and family!

God has more in store for you than you can even imagine! Ephesians 3:20

http://www.powerofhislove.com